Wing Spread Pending

Today I woke up full of life, all about possibilities. I attribute this to the new opportunity I have created for myself. No longer will I have to wake up dreading the fact that I work for a company where there is no consideration for my well being. Fight, though I did, for a shift in culture, it was ultimately to no avail. I am free from that for good! I feel good about my contribution and even better about my departure!

I've accepted a new position and I am excited about being given the task of creating a team of talented marketing professionals. My aim is to align the team on a shared, mutually beneficial goal. I hope to inspire them by example to work diligently (but always with the proper dose of fun and freedom in the mix) toward increasing sales of clean air solutions. I am going to learn from them as well teach them, I am going to respect their privacy and their commitments to family and fitness and education. Balance will be key in my management style.

I've learned something about me in this transition. I like beginning. I like the clean slate, the empty canvas, the shot that starts the race. It is in beginning where I feel the most agency - unaffected by judgments, history, pre-conceived notions, imposed or imagined limitations.

Ready. Set. Go!

And there you have it!

The Soul Free Employer

I never imagined I would be working at a job where the thought of going to my place of employment made me want to pull the covers over my head and sleep forever, or worse.

Three years have gone by with me trying to get to the heart of my boss and make him see the value in human life, transform his ability to experience employees as real people with hearts and souls - dreams and pride. Every now and then, he will throw me a crumb, pretend to care about improving morale in the workplace. Being the optimist I am, I bound with excitement at the possibility that I can be an agent for change, make a significant contribution, show them the light. All too soon I see that I am the victim of a thinly veiled ruse. Changing anything will only take place if it correlates with more money in their pockets.

During one of those whispered gripe sessions in the hall, after being upbraided for having the audacity to inform a couple of clients that one of the key designers on their account would soon be leaving Binary, the aforementioned freed bird put it in a nutshell for me. My bosses have no heart and no soul. He and his partner are cyborgs. They are automotons who work to live and live to work. Family, friendships, fitness, health...the light of day are unnecessary deterrents to PROFIT. Nothing is more important than the contribution any of us can make to THEM. They cannot understand why it is not abundantly clear to all of us that they are doing us a favor by supplying an opportunity to continue to receive a paycheck. Isn’t it obvious we should show our endless gratitude by coming early, staying late, never needing or wanting a day off for sickness or vacation and jumping for joy if we make our .01% bonus for earning them a million dollars a year?

I had better get busy learning a thing or two about being grateful for what I have, despite the dire state of affairs, or put 100% more effort into finding an employer more committed to quality of life than quantity of hours. I vow to create a viable employment opportunity that would allow me to tell the cretins that they can take this job and shove it.

And there you have it!

Tools Need Sharpening

Tools need to be sharp and well maintained in order to perform their best. If you are a chef, you need a sharp set of knives, if you are a surfer, a nice ding-free board, a musician, a well tuned instrument, person who wants to have successful relationships - grace.

Relationship skills may be among the most useful tools around. This past weekend, I had to work on mine.

I went to visit my boyfriend at his place which is conveniently located just a block from the beach in Santa Barbara.

I was kept awake all night by the party people across the street who finally shut their drunken selves up about 4am! Just as I relished the idea it was finally going to be time to catch a few weekend winks, I realized that the party people had been providing cover for a serious snore fest being put on by my otherwise nearly perfect mate. After double checking that I indeed had two ears full of plugs, and wrapping my pillow around my head to cover both ears, I realized I could still hear snoring loud enough to continue to prevent any chance at slumber.
In a fit, I decided I'd just get up and go run along the beach.
As I rifled through my suitcase on the workout bench perched next to the window in the upstairs bedroom, my lovely man woke to ask what was up. "I can't stand pretending to sleep any longer and I'm going running before I kill someone!" I barked. He offered to come along. He's brave. I denied his request.

I ran, I lunged, did push ups, then dips, then sprint spurts, stretched, walked it all off, stood on the wall facing east beach and breathed deeply. Calm came over me very slowly, followed by a desire for consciously developing grace. I meditated on that for about 30 minutes. I got a peaceful, easy feeling but wasn't quite there.

A cat nap on the couch upon my return had nearly restored me to sanity. When I woke I was lovingly offered a cup of coffee with a smile by the man I think I threatened to kill just a few hours before. No questions, comments, inquiries or judgements. Just grace.

And there you have it!