Commitment and Pride

I helped a little girl who means a lot to me study for a spelling test last week. I fancy myself a pretty good speller, so I harkened back to my youth and the tricks I remembered using to get tough words right, and attempted to share my secrets to spelling success. It seemed simple enough. There were only 8 words or so. Little did I know I'd be learning, or re-learning something so valuable.

I first asked her to write the words down several times... so she could both see how the words looked on the page when written out correctly, and tie an action to the mental practice of memorization. Then I asked her to study the words, think about what each word meant, use mental tricks that meant something to her if need be, and get prepared because I would soon administer a test.

Inside of two minutes, she said, "Okay, I studied them, I'm ready." Incredulous that she could have really done so in any conscientious way in that amount of time, I asked if she was sure. She said yes, so I gave her the test. She failed.

I then suggested she spend a little more time, at the table, redoubling her efforts to absorb the words, their meaning, and their spelling ... for at least 10-15 minutes, then turn over the page, and without looking back, try to again write each of the words, spelled correctly, from memory. She was tired of the lesson and began to sulk at having to go through the whole exercise on vacation! Her father did an excellent job of stepping in to remind her that the whole exercise was to her benefit. That were she to take pride in her efforts and perform the mental and physical exercise of her brain to be able to accomplish the task at hand, to the absolute best of her ability, that in itself would be it's own reward. And she may also be able to bask in the glow of a perfect score on the test, or at least be sure that even if she missed one, she had made an honest effort.

That led me to the point I want to make today about true commitment to anything. How is it that so many people, myself included, have put in half-assed effort in some area of life, then wondered how they didn't come out on top? It probably starts in elementary school, then goes on from there to high school, college, work, family ... even our chosen relationships with friends or lovers. We somehow hone an ability to do as little as possible to get by - and will even brag about it - then, when we fail a class, lose a job, or end up divorced, and usually have no one to blame but ourselves, what do we do? Blame the stupid teacher, micro-managing boss, or psycho ex! If they weren't so ridiculous, we would have done better, right?

Wrong. At least in most cases, I think you reap what you sow. Humor me. Be honest with yourself and think back to a time when you've made an honest effort, with true commitment to the best possible outcome, and taken personal pride in doing everything you can to accomplish a goal or task, how often has it been a total failure? I'd say, not very often. Even if things didn't go as well as you had intended, but you're sure you did all you could, you get something. It's when we lie to ourselves (and believe it), make excuses and lack accountability that we truly fail, but the one we fail most is ourselves. I know, I've done it too often.

I've also set hard goals in education and business and reached them through determination, accountability and personal pride in a job well done. My guess is that we humans have all gone both ways, slacked and really applied ourselves.

This has served as a gentle reminder to me embrace the concept and practice of true commitment more than ever. To take genuine pride in all I do. Not just in education and business, but also in my most important relationships. I want to pull out the stops and show up as never before. I'd better go read my post on doubts and fears so those blinders don't try to stop me.

And there you have it.