Thanks

We're approaching what has always been my favorite holiday. Thanksgiving. I want to put down all the things I can think of for which I am thankful. It's been a rough few months here in a number of ways, but I love that my heart can still feel gratitude for all the ways I am blessed in this life. Here they are in no particular order.

1. I have presence of mind, a healthy constitution, and a spiritual connection that gives me faith that I am just where I was meant to be... even if I don't understand the big picture.
2. My mother is alive, awake, alert, joyous and enthusiastic about life (at 80!) and is coming to stay with me for the holiday, as she has for several years in a row. I want to soak up her awesome spirit and pour love and gratitude on her while she's here.
3. My son, Bryce Gregory Slatic, whom I love with all my heart and am grateful to see looking and sounding like he's ready to turn a corner toward a bright future.
4. The immense love I feel growing in my heart for the man in my life. What a gift it is to feel loved just as I am, and a joy to be able to love him in that way. A full and rich experience of loving another. Thank you sweetheart.
5. My safe and comfortable abode.
6. My lovely Leah who has brought me so many joys over the years with her determination, humor, generally good nature and passion for so many things. I love you Shashi!
7. My large and amazing family. I could never ask for more loving, awesome, supporting, hilarious siblings.
8. My core group of friends who have been with me for so many years. You know who you are and have all given me so much. Thank you for all the richness you've added to my life.
9. SRF - finding this path has made all the difference in my life. I am grateful for Paramahansa Yogananda taking the time to put out so many inspirational and transformational writings that inspire and enable us to attune our lives with Divine Wisdom.
10. Humor
11. Art
12. Flowers
13. Sunsets (and rises)
14. Waves
15. Music
16. Dance
17. Intuition
18. Good Writing
19. My education at UCI
20. Humility
21. Grace

I'm sure there are so many more things for which I am thankful that I didn't manage to list, but I got a good start. I really feel it raises one's consciousness to count their blessings. I encourage everyone to try it, not just at Thanksgiving, but any time of year.

And there you have it!

Black, White and True

I had a therapy session once with a lady I had not hired, and didn't initially like all that much. I had my reasons. I'm glad I didn't let that stop me from hearing her on this one key point that I've returned to time and again for balance in my relationships.

She told me about the three of us, all living inside of me. Catherine Black, Catherine White and Catherine True.

If it's not obvious enough, two of the three would take involuntary turns seeming completely justified to the ego while the one who lived where love, peace and true partnership could be found, couldn't be found anywhere.

Perhaps the 13th century poet Rumi could foresee that destination when he wrote:

"Out beyond rightdoing and wrongdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there."

I'm just now starting to experience the joy of long walks in that field. I'm grateful to friends, family, books, dreams, experiences great and tragic ... and God for the opportunity.

And there you have it.

Accidents?

Last Friday I went down to Newport Beach to enjoy a little break from my job search, some nice weather, and much needed exercise. When it was all over, I felt recharged and happily headed for home ready to conquer anything. In the next instant I was unfortunately rear-ended by a Dodge Ram 1500 while at a full stop to yield an emergency vehicle. I was in my Honda Accord. The Ram won. The impact made such a loud sound that I wasn't exactly sure right away what had happened. It sent items flying from my front console to the back seat and introduced my knees to the under side of my dashboard. While still stunned, I managed to discern that I should pull out of the intersection and into a nearby parking lot, so I did. The driver of the truck soon followed.

He actually asked me why I had stopped for the emergency vehicle, but not until after he called his daddy who arrived just a few short minutes later. After reminding him that it was he who hit me, we (me and the driver of the Ram) exchanged information. The police man who had been parked in his vehicle in the gas station next door told us we didn't need a police report, so we didn't file one.

Later, I made a trip to the Emergency Room, and I'm glad I did. Now I'm home, suffering from some of the most extreme back pain I have ever experienced and hoping it is all very temporary. I have a follow-up appointment with my doctor this afternoon to determine the next course of action to take toward recovery.

I wonder what it all means. These last few months have been very out of the ordinary - and in so many ways. All areas of life seem to be affected (work, home, family, romantic relations, friendships, etc.) I sometimes wish I could pull the lens back and get a glimpse at the bigger picture to better understand the workings of the world and my particular role in the unfolding drama(s).

Sometimes I get little urgings, intuitive insights, moments of inspiration and they seem like glimpses at the bigger picture, little gifts from God. I pray that I will be able to tune into those more and more as my life progresses, so that I do what is best suited to my purpose on this planet this time around.

Right now, I am fighting off the feeling of purposelessness. I feel stalled in my professional life and limited in my physical ability.

In turn, I am really grateful for the love in my life and wonder if all this other stuff happened to allow love to blossom during a time where I am free to truly embrace and appreciate it.

I will focus on healing and remain open to the next chapter in my professional life coming into focus here soon. God has always blessed and protected me, now is no different. It could have been so much worse in so many ways. I will remain confident that I am just where I belong and do my part to the best of my ability on all fronts. I get knocked down, but I get up again...and again.

And there you have it.