Communication

C is for Communication, the word of the day. My first communication attempt today seemed to have failed miserably, but turned out to spark some much better attempts later in the day. 

I had an unpleasant exchange with my love and future husband just before going in to the office this morning. We have been having a tough time of late in the communication department as we transition to togetherness and partnership living under one roof. After being separate and set in our  independent ways, we're having to learn the art of communication and compromise. 

So, when I got off the phone with him and walked into work, I have to admit I was fighting tears. They were tears of frustration and fear. I said I'd find a pocket for my feelings and put them there out of mind so I could work and I actually did just that. I decided to channel my sidelined frustration into concentration. I was a little surprised that I got so much accomplished.

Just as I was feeling great about my contribution for the day, a co-worker and I touched base via the chat system on our desktops. I began to relay all the progress I'd made on our shared project. She started to point out all the ways she perceived I had misstepped, not acknowledging my nearly complete to do list (or the fact that most things on it were supposed to have been on hers). Soon I found myself on the defensive and ready to spit textual daggers her way for insinuating that I was a dullard. Instead, I did what I had wished my fiancé had done earlier. I decided to hear (read) her out, validate her concern clearly, then wait to see if she had more to say before calmly suggesting we had likely gone the way of misunderstanding and frustration due to the inept venue for communication that is an instant message box! I reminded her we are on the same side and should strive to support and uplift one another when the going gets tough rather than accuse and belittle. She agreed, and to top it off, called to apologize for her frustration and having taken it out on me!

I shared this with my love when I got home and we both acknowledged where we'd gone wrong earlier and made an agreement to redouble our efforts to communicate more effectively (and compassionately) moving forward. It felt like I'd just discovered something key to my happiness. And that is that when fear or ego take over, all good sense goes out the window and humans revert to reaction, anger and defense mechanisms that have never worked and never will. But it wasn't a discovery, it was more of what I have coined a repiphany. 

I'll have to elaborate on that one when I get to R!

And there you have it!